and my negativity and my overall lack of emotion. apathy's been my game these past few weeks. i'm at that point again when i feel like nothing is going right and that every possible bad thing has happened to me. don't get me wrong there's been a few moments of gratitude and absolute contentment. however, my somber moments have without a doubt supersede my happy moments. and i know this time will past and that sometime soon or far i will be back to my 100 watt smile. but can that time please come sometime around...well, now. i'd like for that to happen, cause i'm making me sick. i feel paralyze, specifically emotionally. try to make me smile for longer than a second and i'll love you forever. a sincere smile, please. i miss those. this past month has been a bitch to me, hopefully school will turn this all over and i will move on pass all this torment i've experience this month. i don't know if i need something new, something exciting, but nevertheless somethinggg needs to happen. i feel like i'm loosing it all. like i'm loosing myself. conversations between best friends are becoming shorter and shallower. relationships are ending. families are breaking apart. and i'm falling apart. i feel so distant with everyone including myself. stress is getting the best of me. but i know it's just one of those months. nothing i'm not use to. nothing no one is not use to. but i guess this is what blogs are for right? vent in a proper, adequate manner.
so there it is.
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