here we are again

is demi lovato secretly my twin sister?

i want to be mad at you, i should be mad at you, but i can't. i can't seem to get myself to say bye. i can't seem to just let it go, let us go. i can't figure out if you and i should continue, or if i should just cut it now before it turns out the way we both always saw it to be. but i can't. i like you too much. i couldn't give you up just yet, there's so much i have yet to learn, yet to figure out. but maybe this big argument is suppose to foreshadow a future event or maybe it's something that we can both learn from. and i sure as hell hope it's the latter of the two.
you're so hard to understand, it's like pulling teeth to get you to tell me how you really feel and i know i'm not any better and i'm just the same way. but i'm trying. i'm trying to not hold back, i'm trying to get this communication thing just right and i think that at this point, our lack of communication is the source of all our arguements, all our little attitudes and rages. and if we can't get that right, how can we get us right? i don't think it's possible, without communication...well there's really nothing there then.
i crave attention, i know and you know. sorry, but i'm a girl. and yeah, sometimes i just want you to tell me you care.


ok well bye, i'm too mad and frustrated to finish this.

fuck this.

annoyed. mad. frustrated. depressed. sad. lonely. disappointed. pissed.

how does one person make me feel all these emotions at one time.


but mostly i'm sad that ...













overrrrrrrrrrrrrr :/

over it.

i'm over this lifestyle i've created for myself. this past week has been hell, all due to my bad habits and lack of motivation. there i was crying every chance i got. why? because i like to screw around and take my blessings for granted.
but i'm done. i'm over it. afterall, they do say that each second is an opportunity to turn your life around--well this is mine.

starting fall semester:
-work 8 hours a week.
-bust my ass in school.
-attempt to fully understand physics and actually pay attention this time.
-transfer out.
-figure my life out.
-more studying, less clothes.
-don't substitute clothes for happiness.
-prioritize. prioritize. prioritize.
-grow up.

an apology.

i'm sorry that i'm a dumbshit.
an asshole.
a dumbass.
a dickhead.
a motherfucker.
a fuckface.
and pretty much all infinite amount of synonyms to all of the above.
i made a mistake.
i screwed up.

but i promise that sometimes actions DON'T speak louder than words or feelings.
because i know i messed up everything we could've been.
i hate alcohol, i hate impulsiveness.
and i know i can't do anything to reverse my actions, but i genuinely am sorry.
because my feelings for you aren't a lie.

i'm sorry.