friends?

I hate that one hour of one day can change the outcome of all things to come. I hate that one action can effect the relationship between two people. But most of all I hate that I lost a good friend. I hate that I can’t even simply talk to you without any awkward pauses or moments of hesitance.
After all that’s happened, I’d hate to give up, even if you already have. I admired you so much as a friend and even more as a person. I hate that I’ve lost someone that I always thought that would be my friend for years to come. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to it, go back to that instance, that hour that became the end of our friendship. The end of something I still do cherish.
But I guess I can’t do much. Because I know as much as I try, it is what it is and I can never go back to the past, to how it use to be. Accepting it seems impossible. And what’s worst is that I can’t even grasp that concept in of itself. Because I don’t know why we couldn’t just let go of what happened and just move on. It’s weird, cause I was still conscious during that instance, yet I would have never fathomed what it would’ve done. Talk about ignorance. WOW KIMBERLY.